Category Archives: DUMB SHIT I’VE DONE

RAT NEST

I am taking a break today from my one-man war against the unholy fortress of bougainvillea in my backyard. It has recently been colonized by a populous young rat family. I became aware of the rats because I’ve been sleeping … Continue reading

Posted in DOGS, DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE | 9 Comments

BOOMER THE INCONTINENT

They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. But I’m learning that an old dog can teach an old man new tricks. My 14-year-old goldendoodle Boomer has deployed three strategies simultaneously to retrain me — senile barking, separation … Continue reading

Posted in CHILD REARING, DOGS, DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, SPIRIT | 26 Comments

DOSING THE OCTOPUS

My son is so disciplined about his daily weightlifting. I decided to get disciplined about something myself — anything. I picked meditating. I went back to it twice a day, 20 minutes at a time. Most of my meditations are … Continue reading

Posted in DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, SELF HELP, SPIRIT | 3 Comments

WHERE’S FEKKESH

1977 was a great year for movies. Star Wars was released, along with Annie Hall, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Saturday Night Fever, Julia, The Goodbye Girl, and The Turning Point. It was also the year I saw The Spy … Continue reading

Posted in DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, MOVIES, MY CHILDHOOD | 6 Comments

EVERYTHING TURNS OUT OKAY

When I was three and a half years old, I went crashing into a glass door on the first floor of my family’s home in Chevy Chase, Md. The worst damage was not from my arm going through the door, … Continue reading

Posted in DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, MY CHILDHOOD, SELF HELP, SPIRIT | 4 Comments

THE HANGING TREE

During the national week of rage and mayhem over George Floyd’s death, friends sent me various articles, photos, petitions to sign. One petition which caught my attention was for the removal of the infamous Hanging Tree in Brooksville, Fla. I … Continue reading

Posted in DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, POLITICS, UNIQUELY AMERICAN BULLSHIT | 6 Comments

STUPID SMART PERSON

Note: As long as I’ve been writing about the racism of other people, it occurred to me re-post this piece from three years ago about my own moment of racial profiling. One of the more humiliating moments in my life … Continue reading

Posted in DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, UNIQUELY AMERICAN BULLSHIT | 5 Comments

ST. KIT

Each day I reach into a little bag with a hundred bits of paper, each with a name scrawled on it. I pick out two. I say a quick prayer for those two people. Nothing dramatic, the usual shit — … Continue reading

Posted in DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, SELF HELP | 8 Comments

DAVE’S A MESS

There’s a scene in the old hockey movie Slapshot where an opponent talks trash about the Chiefs’ aging player-captain Paul Newman. One of Newman’s teammates, Dave, is outraged. He drops his stick and attacks the opponent. A bloody brawl ensues. … Continue reading

Posted in COURAGE, DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, HEROES, ICE HOCKEY, MOVIES, MY CHILDHOOD | 3 Comments

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID

Go to your room, and think about what you did. I smiled the other day when I heard this interpretation of the Covid19 crisis — Mother Earth is sending us all to our rooms to think about what we did. … Continue reading

Posted in DUMB SHIT I'VE DONE, SELF HELP, UNIQUELY AMERICAN BULLSHIT | 4 Comments